音频：
视频：
哥林多前书：13:4-7: 4爱是恒久忍耐，又有恩慈；爱是不嫉妒，爱是不自夸，不张狂，5不作害羞的事，不求自己的益处，不轻易发怒，不计算人的恶，6不喜欢不义，只喜欢真理； 7凡事包容，凡事相信，凡事盼望，凡事忍耐。
“爱不轻易发怒”还可以翻译为“爱是不轻易被激怒。”从积极的思想角度看，这意味着当其他人面对同一件事会发怒时，爱却能让你在同样情况下保持头脑冷静。
也许理解这种爱的最简单的方式，就是看这种爱是如何反映出上帝对我们爱。这包含在上帝对他自己名字的定义之中。在《出埃及记》的34章，将上帝描述为“不轻易发怒，且有丰盛的慈爱。”这不是说上帝从不发怒，只不过因为爱我们的缘故，他克制了自己的愤怒。我每天都该喜乐，因为上帝没有对我轻易发怒！
我们也应该像上帝那样，不轻易发怒。我以前经常听到这样的建议，但现在再也听不到了:“数到十。”慢慢来!不要对任何激怒你的人或事马上做出反应，给自己一点时间去思考，尤其是如果让你生气的那个人，是曾经伤害过你的人，或者是一个故意想和你争论的人，或者一个不同意你观点的人。与其怒气冲冲地陷入争吵，不如花几分钟或者更多时间，从头到尾听听他们是怎么说的。与其马上反驳，不如问问他们到底发生了什么事，他们到底是什么意思，或者他们为什么对你如此生气。
现在你明白为什么这被描述成爱的行为了吗？当你容易发怒的时候，你想的是你自己。当你在爱中放下愤怒，倾听你的邻舍，了解他的观点，你展现给他的爱就如同上帝展现给我们的爱。
祷告：神啊，骄傲的人起来攻击我，强横的人寻索我的命，他们没有将你放在眼中。主啊，你是有怜悯、有恩典的神，不轻易发怒，且有丰盛的慈爱和诚实。求你向我转脸，怜恤我，将你的力量赐给你的仆人。阿们。（诗篇86:14-16）
哥林多前书：13:4-7: 4爱是恒久忍耐，又有恩慈；爱是不嫉妒，爱是不自夸，不张狂，5不作害羞的事，不求自己的益处，不轻易发怒，不计算人的恶，6不喜欢不义，只喜欢真理； 7凡事包容，凡事相信，凡事盼望，凡事忍耐。
我为一对夫妇提供婚姻辅导时想到了这句经文。我问那位丈夫，他是否记得最后一次对妻子说爱她是什么时候。那位丈夫摇了摇头。他不记得了。这时妻子插话并给出了确切的日期，大约是在四年前。她还记得。她做了记录。
我们当然无法抹去我们的记忆，我们总是记得那些受伤的时刻。这些伤害可能出自你的父亲，或是你的配偶，或是你的兄弟姐妹，或是你的朋友。但记得这件事和把这件事专门记录下来，是有区别的。“计算人的恶”，在希腊语里，这个词的字面意思是你详细记录某件事的经过。你把它加到你对某个人的不满清单上。然后你等待合适的时机拿出你的清单，陈述你的理由，提出指责与控告，就像我提供婚姻辅导的那位妻子一样。她的清单上有很多东西。
如果上帝也这样对我们会怎样？如果他把我们对他所犯的一切罪都记录下来呢?藉着耶稣，上帝完完全全赦免了我们，所以他这样应许说：“我要赦免他们的罪孽，不再纪念他们的罪恶”（耶利米书：31：34）
爱意味着你必须撕毁这张清单。虽然你还记得以前发生的事情，但永远也不要使用这些记忆。不要用它去赢得一场争论，去报复别人，去为自己强压的愤怒找正当理由。不要仔细的去检查那张清单，而是按下删除键，将这一切删除。这是爱会做的事情。
祷告：天父阿，感谢你在基督耶稣里完全赦免了我，以至于不再记念我的罪。请赐给我一颗爱邻舍的心，如同你爱我一样，不数算别人的恶。阿们。
1 Corinthians 13: 4 Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not envy. It does not brag. It is not arrogant. 5 It does not behave indecently. It is not selfish. It is not irritable. It does not keep a record of wrongs. 6 It does not rejoice over unrighteousness but rejoices with the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (EHV)
The word “irritable” doesn’t really catch the flavor of this word. “Love is not easily angered,” may be better, or even, “Love is not easily provoked to anger.” Putting the thought in a positive way, it means that love keeps a level head when everyone else wants to be upset about something.
Perhaps the easiest way to understand this kind of love is to see how it reflects God’s love for us. It’s part of God’s definition of his name, of who he is. In Exodus 34, it describes God as “slow to anger, abounding in love.” It doesn’t say that God never gets angry, only that his love for us controls his anger. I can rejoice every day that God is slow to be angry with me!
Like God, we should be slow to become angry. I used to hear this advice given, but I don’t hear it anymore: “Just count to ten.” And do it slowly! Don’t react to whatever or whomever is provoking you and give yourself time to think, especially if what is provoking you to anger is another person who has hurt you, who wants to argue with you, or who disagrees with you. Instead of jumping into the fray in an angry way, take a few minutes or more to listen to your neighbor all the way through. Instead of arguing back, question them on what has happened, or what they mean, or why they are so angry with you.
Do you see why this is described as an act of love? When you are easily angered, you are thinking of yourself. When in love you set your anger aside and listen to your neighbor and see his point of view, you show him a love that is like the love that God showed us.
Prayer: Arrogant foes are attacking me, O God; ruthless people are trying to kill me— they have no regard for you. 15 But you, Lord, are a compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness. 16 Turn to me and have mercy on me; show your strength in behalf of your servant. Amen. (Psalm 86)
1 Corinthians 13: 4 Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not envy. It does not brag. It is not arrogant. 5 It does not behave indecently. It is not selfish. It is not irritable. It does not keep a record of wrongs. 6 It does not rejoice over unrighteousness but rejoices with the truth. 7 It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (EHV)
I thought of this verse when I was counseling a couple in marriage. I asked the husband if he could remember the last time he told his wife he loved her. He shook his head. He couldn’t remember. The wife chimed in and gave him the exact date, which was about four years before. She remembered. She kept a record.
No, we cannot erase our memories. We will always remember those hurtful moments. Maybe it was something your father did, or your spouse, or your sibling, or your friend. But remembering and keeping a record is a different thing. The Greek word literally says that you keep a log of it. You add it to the list of things you hold against a person. Then you wait for the opportune time to haul out your list and make your case, like the wife in my counseling session. She had lots of things on her list.
What if God did that to us? What if he kept a log of all the sins we had ever committed against him? In Jesus, God has forgiven us so completely that he made this promise. “I will forgive their iniquities and remember their sins no more” (Jeremiah 31:34).
Love means you have to tear up your list. And if you remember something, you just can’t use it, ever. Not to win an argument. Not to get even. Not to justify your feelings of pent up anger. Instead of logging in to your list, hit the delete key and erase it. That’s what love does.
Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank you for forgiving me completely in Christ Jesus, so completely that you will remember my sins no more. Give me such a heart that loves my neighbor, as you have loved me, and keeps no record of wrongs. Amen.